The letter below responds to an email I received from a local MT state representative. He was concerned about our state’s response to the US Supreme Court’s Dobbs case. Please share this letter with other legislators and policymakers as you see fit. I’ve shared it with my Governor, US Senators, and US Representative as well as the State Representative who sent the email. I’ve written a memoir around this issue. An early reader called it “Captivating, heartfelt, and entertaining.” To skip the heavy info and follow the fairy trail to fun, scroll to the bottom now. For serious context around my book, read this political activism letter:
Dear Legislator, Policy Maker, and Political Leader,
I’m writing to offer a unique perspective on the life vs choice debate. Do you see these two ideals in conflict with each other? Life is full of choices and choices have the power to give life to meaningless and often painful patterns of thought and behavior. As a policymaker, your job is to wade through the muck of tough problems and dig out the best possible solution for the greatest number of people and not just the ones living today, but for future generations as well.
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy at eighteen years old, I chose life for my child. As the pregnancy progressed, my support system disintegrated around me. Appearances and other concerns consumed the father and grandparents of the child-to-be. They were either unwilling or unable to help me. I chose to love all involved even in the face of crushing cruelty. But love doesn’t pay the bills. In the 1980s society at large was not kind to unwed pregnant women. Is it better now? Who is willing to help a young scared pregnant woman pay her bills while she completes her education so she can get a job that covers the bills? Who is willing to employ a young uneducated struggling single mother? Without access to affordable childcare or other sufficient support resources, I chose adoption for my son. I emphatically do not recommend adoption to families facing the unfortunate situation I did. Also, I strongly disagree with the notion that adoption is a solution to the burden of pregnancy and parenthood.
Three Supreme Court Justices are adoptive parents. Their position in the adoption triad has them blinded to the statistics we know about outcomes for adopted babies and children who become adults without the same rights as the rest of the population.
- Adoptees comprise about 2% of the population yet they represent about 30% of the population facing costly crisis-level mental health issues.
- Adoptees are 6 times more likely to complete suicide than those in the general population.
- For bizarre cultural reasons, secrecy was part of the legal mandate in adoption. So truth and transparency were not a legal part of adoption practices until very recently and still, they are not common. This allows for rampant unreported abuses.
- Adoptees suffer indignities and injustices in many aspects of their entire lives, especially in the healthcare system because their biological family medical history boxes must all be left blank due to secrecy. For example, many lifesaving cancer screening procedures require a family history of the disease. A blank family medical history means insurance companies don’t approve the lifesaving tools available to non-adopted people. In this way, people adopted in their youth are legally discriminated against for their entire lives.
Additionally, all Americans, except those who were adopted, have the right to know who they are and where they came from. The national patchwork of obscure and confusing state laws associated with adoption and original birth certificates leaves adopted adults (more often than not,) unable to access this basic information. So even if they want to track down the names of their biological parents to perhaps obtain personal or medical history information, they are unable to do so. Lastly, adoption is not sufficiently regulated to protect against abuses connected and similar to those in the human trafficking world. Many adoptees view adoption as a form of slavery. Were they not babies bought and sold? Infant adoption is not a humane or brave choice; it is at best a desperate last resort act made from a powerless position that love and prayer can soothe, but not fix.
We do not have comprehensive statistics about the outcomes of those who relinquish parental rights because society at large, the adoption industry, adoptive parents, adoptees, and birthparents themselves struggle to acknowledge the impacts of adoption on birthparents. In short, I don’t quote statistics on this because I believe the few studies out there are insufficient to draw helpful conclusions. From experience and personal in-depth studies of this population, I can say birthparents face painful and unresolvable grief and shame as well as a host of other lifelong issues most easily described as “failure to thrive.” They most often suffer in isolation with their mental health and physical problems including secondary infertility. Their infertility is based not on physical but psychological problems. Women encouraged to relinquish their children to adoption are not informed that chances are very high that they will be unable to have subsequent children.
Bottom line: adoption is not all it seems. Forced pregnancy and birth negatively impact one’s ability to enjoy future choices and life itself for both birthparents as well as the children they have no legal right to know and love. There are no enforceable laws regulating open adoptions. There is no legal recourse if an adoptive family chooses to alienate birth families despite an open adoption agreement.
Life-affirming choices start with the right to say no or yes to self-determination over one’s body. Are you willing to give your government the power over decisions regarding your body?
If you yourself want freedom from the government compelling you to wear a mask, vaccinate, or endure medical conditions that could have lasting effects on yourself, your children, and future generations then a noble brave choice is to support government policies that ensure this personal freedom for all our citizens.
Thank you for your time reading this and thank you for your service,
Beth Jaffe
Missoula, Montana
I wrote my memoir! WhooHoo! Much of it is about the 18-year-old version of me in this cheeky photo. I’m currently figuring out how to best publish this creative baby. I’m looking for support and help so if that interests you.